New Patient Appointment

Today is my first appointment. Filling out my new blog paperwork. I know most people hate it, but I LOVE filling out paperwork. It makes me feel important. You have to have my address, phone number, name and emergency information; and if I don't give it to you, you don't get money. I dig it.

This blog is semi anonymous. Names, dates, location and personal information is not being revealed. (Don't worry Mr. HIPPA) The best part is, none of that is needed for any of the stories I will share. They are hilarious without personal information. I laugh every day at work, and I cant hog this gold in any longer. If I help make someones day, my day is that much better.

The hard part will be trying to type what the spoken word makes funny. Bare with me, I'll do my best.

The first story that comes to mind is of course a new patient. She brought her son in who had a toothache. Our paperwork looks something like this:

Name: ____________________________

Prefer to be called: _________________

Wk#:________________
Hm#:________________

Address: ______________________

Etc., Etc., Etc.,

(This is where you start to bare with me...)

She came up to me and said she had some questions. Sure! Glad to help.

"What's Wrk?" (She said it how its abbreviated. Wuuuk.)

I stared at her for a second trying to figure out what she was asking.

Again she asks, "Whats wuuuk?" with a puzzled look on her face.

It clicks. "Ohhh!! It stands for work number. That's where you put a work number we can reach you at."

She says, "Oh, ok. Thanks." And starts to walk away.

Stops.

Turns around.

"I'm sorry, I have another question. Whats Hmmmm?"

Trying not to laugh in her face I have to explain that Hm# means home number.

She finishes the paper work, hands it to me and walks to the back to see her son. I start to put the information into the computer and immediately have to stop. My eyes go right to the section where we ask what you prefer to be called. Most people get it. Robert likes to be called Rob. Elizabeth prefers Liz.

This woman would prefer her son to be called: White.

Did I read that correctly? Oh yes. Yes I did. At the end of her appointment I ask what she meant, and she tells me she thought we were asking if we meant "where you write Hispanic or Black or something."

Ah. Of course it does.

I love my job. I love helping people. I love assisting the doctor to get patients out of pain, and being the person that patients like because I don't give shots!

But we aren't always treated kindly. Some people don't understand that we're not the one to blame because you don't brush your teeth. You have to brush. You have to floss. You have to come in every 6 months for maintenance. Not my fault when you have poor hygiene; but eventually it becomes my problem.

A lot of people don't realize that I answer the phones, work on insurance claims and assist in the back. So when their story doesn't match what I know really happened, it feels good to call them out on it. Don't be a jerk to the people who get you out of pain...or you will be experiencing it a lot longer than necessary. Dummy.

Because I am in so many different places in the office, I have many stories to tell and many more to come.

Tune in, and remember to floss.