The Almighty Dollar

Lets face it. We all love money; we want more of it. We don't want to spend it on things such as car notes, doctor bills, power bills or anything else that is necessary. We want to spend it on new clothes, trips, going out to eat or a new car every 3 years.

But reality check: I need to wake up and smell the bills. We all have them, and they have to be paid. I am just annoyed with money as the next person, but in life, we have money and it disappears. If you're smart, you wouldn't piss off the people that handle your money, or your bills.

We have a patient that isn't very smart. I've taken pictures of actual bills that have been returned to us. This is not a joke, its hilarious, but not a joke. She actually sent this to us.

This first picture is her statement that we sent. She has come in for many procedures and is on a payment plan. We do not typically do payment plans because people don't always follow them. Payment is due at the time of service.

This lady had a balance of $1,500. Shes on a $50 a month payment plan, so that gives her over a year to pay that off. But, she continues to come in and have more and more work done. So her paying $50 is basically pointless on the full scale of things.

At the top, you can see that she has given her credit card number for us to run. All pertinent information is given...but wait. Whats that? A Security Code with letters? K-M-A? How does that work? Ahhh. Its a hidden message that she thinks no one will understand. But alas, she didn't know I was on the Doc's staff.

K-M-A. Any takers? Ahhh yes. Kiss. My. Ass. How quaint.

Down below it says, "See you Thurs" Is that a threat? Normally

I would say no, but after the writing rape I just received I'm just not sure what to think.

Follow me down to the joyful message of payment.

It says, " Insurance should pay 12-11 and 12-23 so why are you charging finance charges how did it go from $200 owed to $499 WRONG!!"

Well. If you were smart, you would realize that you are being charged fina

nce charges for your previous balance not paid on. We know insurance covers some, but not all. And as long as you're not paying, we will charge you. So......RIGHT!!

My Favorite part is the bottom. It says, "You desk people and doctors need to

communicate better. NEVER mind its all about the money."

Yes. It IS all about the money. Thats the problem, you aren't paying! Thats why you're having so many problems with us! DURP.

So then at our next billing month we get another note. Its much sweeter and even in a pretty blue!

"I haven't called the insurance company. Would you call them to see if we can bill these last treatments to next years insurance and how much I am allowed each year, when the year starts and ends. I will never be able to come to the dentist again, otherwise or will you call me and leave the number. Thanks."

So. Let me break this letter down into segments. First, we have "I haven't called the insurance company. Would you call them..." Maybe because you already know the answer to this letter. It isn't going to happen, lady. You want to yell at us and then have us do you a favor? Nice.

"....bill these last treatments to next years insurance......" Oh? You mean insurance fraud? Surely! The doctor doesn't need a license, they're overrated.

"I will never be able to come to the dentist again." Yeah, that's what were going for.

And no, we will not call you and leave the number to YOUR insurance company. Not that there is over a million possibilities that it could be.

Moral of the story? Yeah, there isn't one. Advice? Just don't be an ass to people. Please.

Stay tuned and remember to floss.